Motherhood is given a status of divinity in our country. It is a beautiful state where a human being carries a baby human in her belly for 9 months, cares for them and gives birth. A mother’s entire being revolves only around this baby human for many early years and after that as well. She tries to be a good mother.
But it is not always as rosy as it sounds. One of the factors which defines the experience of motherhood is the age of the mother. Woman’s age at the time of becoming a mother can create a vastly different set of complexities and challenges for her.
What are the unique experiences of young mothers and older mothers? What about the difficulties that they encounter?
Challenges faced by Young Mothers
Let us start with one of our favorite things when discussing topics of great value- some solid numbers
In India, women typically marry at the average 19.2 years of age, much younger than the average in European nations where women often marry in their mid-twenties. Over a million girls are forced into marriage before their 15th birthday. Even more alarming – over 400,000 of these child brides become mothers.
Early Pregnancy: Before or After Marriage?
Young mothers in India face an incredible social stigma. In their early youth years if they become pregnant they face a significant pressure of an early marriage and high criticism from the society and family. That is because, in many Indian communities, marriage is still seen as the socially acceptable context for childbearing. Pre-marital pregnancy disrupts this norm with some young girls even losing their lives over it.
In most cases, their education and career potential become limited and they often lose their independence socially and financially. Also, young mothers may lack access to resources and mentorship on adjusting their career goals in light of their new responsibilities.
Health Considerations
Teenage Pregnancy Problems and Solutions
Teenage mothers are more likely to have poor nutrition both during and after pregnancy, which can impact their own health and their child’s development.
A new report in the Lancet Child and Adolescent Health journal highlights that children born to teenage mothers are at a significantly higher risk of being undernourished. This is a major concern in India, which tragically has the highest number of stunted children globally and a devastatingly high rate of teenage pregnancies.
Despite laws against child marriage, disturbing statistics from National Family and Health Surveys reveal that a good percentage of girls are married before their 18th birthday, and many married Indian women have given birth by age 18.
Emotional Immaturity and Mental health
For the young mothers the transition from adolescence to motherhood is abrupt and often overwhelming. They may not have had the time to develop the emotional maturity and coping mechanisms to deal with the demands of motherhood successfully.
The sudden and powerful range of multiple emotions which come with motherhood can hamper their mental stability. Hampering their ability to function properly if not given a proper support system.
Moreover their potential romantic notions about babies and motherhood can clash with reality, leading to disappointment and emotional distress for young mothers who are not yet equipped to deal with the less idealized aspects of parenting.
Early mothers have their own share of difficulties but is it better being an old mother?
Picture the classic image of ‘motherhood’: a young woman glowing with a baby bump. Now, imagine adding a decade or two. The picture changes, as do the challenges.
Challenges Faced by Older Mothers
Fertility Concerns: With age, a woman’s fertility naturally declines, making it harder to conceive. If women may postpone motherhood due to career goals or finding the right partner, they might face increased difficulties getting pregnant naturally. Assisted reproductive technologies (ART) may be necessary, which can be costly and emotionally taxing.
Adolescent pregnancy difficulties: Older mothers are at a higher risk of complications like gestational diabetes, hypertension, preeclampsia, and chromosomal abnormalities in the baby. Indian healthcare systems may need to be better equipped to manage these potential risks and provide specialized prenatal care for older mothers.
Moreover with changing family structures and the rise of nuclear families, older mothers in India might have less access to traditional in-home support from extended relatives, placing further strain on their already stretched resources.
Energy Levels: Keeping up with toddlers and young children requires significant stamina. Older mothers might find themselves more easily fatigued compared to younger moms. This is especially important to consider in the Indian context, where extended family support for childcare may be less common than in previous generations.
Moreover, Older mothers may have friendships rooted in pre-motherhood lifestyles. Their life stage shift might create a distance or a need to find new social circles that can better relate to the experience of being an older parent.
Traditional Expectations: Indian society still carries strong expectations about the “right” age for marriage and childbirth. Older mothers may face criticism for defying societal norms and be accused of prioritizing careers or personal goals over family.
The Real Definition of a Good Mother
After discussing the challenges at length one must understand that motherhood is incredibly different for each woman.
Swabhiman‘s (Smile Foundation‘s women empowerment initiative) work with new mothers is centered on providing comprehensive support and guidance during the important phase of motherhood. Through targeted interventions and education, Swabhiman equips new mothers with essential knowledge and resources on breastfeeding awareness, infant care, and maternal health.
From promoting the importance of exclusive breastfeeding to offering lactation support and counseling, Swabhiman ensures that new mothers receive the necessary assistance to initiate and sustain breastfeeding, thereby contributing to the health and well-being of both mother and child. Additionally, the program conducts workshops, counseling sessions, and community outreach programs to address common challenges faced by new mothers, fostering a supportive environment that empowers them to navigate the joys and complexities of early motherhood with confidence and resilience.
Some mothers begin their journey young, others wait until later in life. There are moms who give birth, and moms who build their families through adoption. The path to becoming a mother is valid no matter what the calendar says. It is unfair to assume a woman is selfish for focusing on herself first, or that another is incapable just because she is a teenager.
Instead of judgment, let us offer support. Young mothers, older mothers – all moms – face challenges. Maybe it is feeling isolated, struggling with finances, or the sheer exhaustion of caring for little ones.
Ultimately, a good mother is not defined by whether she is 25 or 45. What matters more is that she loves her child fiercely, gives them a safe and nurturing home, and works hard to provide the best she can. Because at the end motherhood is not bound by age but by the determination of a woman’s heart.